Mentors can come in all shapes, sizes and roles. Some may be peers or indirect leaders. For this lesson, I am going to share some of the best advice I have ever received from a former leader of mine. Here’s the story.

 

I know that this may come as a surprise to some of you, but I am a bit of a perfectionist. I like to get things as close to perfect as I can. I didn’t just start like this. Many of us have all been trained and taught since childhood that perfect is better. Matter of fact, I have been reinforced through most of my career to get it right the first time. Practice makes perfect, right?

 

Don’t even get me started on social media messaging pushing the perfection message!

 

Okay. Back to the story. Several years ago, I had the privilege to work in the Project Management Office under the leadership of Stacy Melvin. Coming onto this team, I had just left a corporate environment that left little wiggle room for failure or anything less than 110%.

 

I was assigned some strategic programs and ,boy, did I go to work. Head down and high (self-imposed) expectations. I was new and wanted to impress.

 

I asked for a lot of feedback from Stacy, as my leader, and continued to want to refine my work products to perfection before sharing them with my project teams. Basically, imploring all the tactics that were so valued previously.

 

So, you can imagine my surprise when she dropped the following bomb on me.

 

Kim, she said, don’t shoot better for best. Followed by the biggest, most encouraging smile.

 

I most likely looked at her like a deer in headlights because she said it again and added a little more.

 

Don’t shoot better for best because your better is still better than most people’s best. 

 

BOOM!

 

My first thought was somewhat defensive. If I can give my best, why shouldn’t I? I mean, did she want me to tank my work?

 

No. Not at all.

 

Here is what she was doing with this one statement.

 

  1. She gave me (an overachiever) permission to not have it all perfect. To let go of my white knuckled fear of failing or the appearance of not being good enough. My good was, indeed, good enough if not pretty great.
  2. It helped me challenge the idea of perfection. Because we all know there is no such thing as perfect. As long as the objective was being met and the client was happy, everything else was a lot of added stress on my part. No one was claiming my work wasn’t good enough. Ultimately, was what I was trying to ‘improve’ really going to make a difference?
  3. She helped me see I was overthinking and slowing down the process.

 

This advice was and has been a game changer for me. She gave me a gift by helping me have a quick statement to check myself. To really challenge whether my expectations were higher than what was needed at that moment and to challenge if the extra effort was necessary for a successful outcome. I can honestly say this has saved me many times in my professional life.

 

The advice is also a big part of how I felt safe enough to start my own business, write a book chapter, and a whole book! I refuse to let my perfectionist tendencies steal my ability to try new things, make some mistakes, but ultimately achieve whatever I set my mind to.

 

Has everything gone perfectly? No, because perfect doesn’t really exist. And, guess what? I am getting more comfortable with that fact.

 

This advice has also influenced how I have led and developed others. It has stayed in heavy rotation when I mentor others. I love seeing the light bulb turn on in likely the same way it did for me.

 

So, next time you feel as if you are drowning and can’t get something as perfect as you want it, I want you to say these words to yourself.

 

Don’t shoot better for best. 

 

Challenge if what you have is really good enough. Are you creating unrealistic expectations for yourself at this moment? Are you making this harder than it really needs to be?

 

Whatever the answers, take a breath. You got this. You are, indeed, good enough as you are right now.

To read more great mentor advice, read more here!

 

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